Living the Law of Sacrifice- I can Hope, I can Trust

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is an incredible opportunity provided for the youth of our church (young men at age 18 and young women at 19). This opportunity is given by being called by the Prophet of the Lord to serve as a missionary and to preach the gospel in some part of the world. They will be asked to leave their homes for 18 months to 2 years and spend that entire time dedicated to serving and preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to many people.

I have grown up in a family where there is a great legacy of missionaries that have gone out to serve. My grandparents on both sides, my parents along with my three older siblings have served a mission. It has been my greatest desire to take part of this program and to serve a mission ever since I was little. This has been a goal I have worked towards and prepared for all my life.

Through high school I had become super anxious and excited to start on my mission papers as some of my really good guy friends started to receive their calls to serve. I was a bit frustrated that I would have to wait an entire year later before I could even start on mine. By the time my two best friends had left, I was counting down the months I had left before I could go. While I waited, I decided that it was best to get a semester of college done and work part time in order to save up.

I had several experiences that created some very strong impressions in opposition to my desires to go. There was a quiet fear that maybe the Lord didn't want me to serve a mission at this time. These thoughts terrified me and I did all that I could to keep these fears at bay. However, they would only slowly build. These thoughts soon became pressing and created much turmoil inside. I wanted more than anything to serve a mission and I rationalized that it was a righteous desire. Yet something just kept telling me that Heavenly Father wanted something different for me.

It came time that I was finally able to start on my mission papers and get the process going. I was super anxious to get them completed by the soonest possible date so that I could turn them in. The process was very tedious for me and seemed to drag on very slow. When I went in to get my medical exam, I ran into a few complications. My blood tests showed that I was deficient in iron. I was informed that they could not turn in my papers with my iron level so low. I would have to take Iron pills for six weeks and check back to see if it goes back up before proceeding with the papers. When I heard this news, I was devastated!

Those six weeks were the longest and most discouraging time for me. I was frustrated that I would not have my papers turned in at the time I had planned on. To make things even harder, the feelings of fear and doubt swept in stronger then before. I struggled to find peace, I felt as if Heavenly Father was trying to tell me that a mission was not in His plan for me and I fought it. A mission was not something I was willing to give up so easily, I could not imagine my life without serving a mission.

I kept fighting these feelings, terrified of the prospect of not serving a mission. This a where I know Heavenly Father has guided me, I ran across the story of Abraham and Issac that is located in the Old Testament. In this story, the Lord has blessed Abraham with a son, even when his wife was past her years to be able to have children. Through his son, Isaac, the Lord promised Abraham that he would have a great posterity among many other blessings. Then a few years later the Lord commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, his only son. Abraham's faith is incredible, for he was willing to obey despite the doubt and fear that could have been there. It would have appeared that God was asking Abraham to not only give up his son, but also sacrifice all of the blessings that the Lord had promised him. But, "Abraham believed God." (Romans 4:3) He believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises.

"Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken. . He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to GOd; And being fully persuaded that, what [the Lord] had promised, he was able also to perform." (Romans 4:18, 20-21)

This story greatly impacted me. It made me realize that sometimes the Lord does ask us to sacrifice things that are most precious to us. I needed faith like Abraham, who trusted God and His plan over his own desires (even when they are righteous). My mission papers are complete but I have accepted that I will not be serving a mission at this time.

We must remember that the Lord never lets us down. For Abraham, the Lord provided a ram in Isaac's place to be sacrificed. (Genesis 22:10-13) For me, I know that the Lord has a plan for me. I have been promised that I would get an opportunity to take part in the missionary program and to serve a mission. I just need to trust in the Lord's timing and completely rely on Him and that He will fulfill His promise to me.

I am living the Law of Sacrifice, I am willing to give up something so dear and precious to me because my loving Heavenly Father has asked me to. I know that the Lord will fulfill all of the promises that He makes with His children. He will fulfill His promise to me, that I will serve a mission, even if the time is not now. It is hard and it is scary, but I can hope and I can trust.